From pvd at cbnl.com Sat Jul 5 19:22:44 2008 From: pvd at cbnl.com (Phil Davies) Date: Sat, 5 Jul 2008 19:22:44 +0100 Subject: [Fun] Top tips........ Message-ID: <70635D41CDF67B48A35E0A8D578980620191F794@exchange.cbl.local> TOP TIPS COOKING: Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending $50 to yourself by Royal mail. EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin. HOME MAINTENANCE: You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. WAKING UP: A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. HOME IMPROVEMENTS: If it doesn't fit - get a bigger hammer. DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way. SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside department stores with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside. SHOPPERS: Take one grape to the till. It won't register on the low-tech, insensitive scales so you will get it for free. Repeat this procedure 100 times or so and you have yourself a free bunch of grapes. HOME MAINTENANCE: If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. Washing : Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, circle the soiled area with a permanent pen so that when you remove it from the washing machine you can check the stain has gone. FEMALE SHOP ASSISTANTS: When a garage mechanic comes to your till, add on a selection of random items they didn't know they needed and charge them $50 labour costs for the transaction. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cambridge Broadband Networks Limited Registered in England and Wales under company number: 03879840 Registered office: Selwyn House, Cambridge Business Park, Cowley Road, Cambridge CB4 0WZ, UK. VAT number: GB 741 0186 64 This email and any attachments are private and confidential. If you believe you have received this email in error please inform the sender and delete it from your mailbox or any other storage mechanism. Cambridge Broadband Networks Limited cannot accept liability for any statements made which are clearly the individual sender's own and not expressly made on behalf of Cambridge Broadband Networks Limited. -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://lists.barnowls.net/pipermail/fun/attachments/20080705/821c6be2/attachment.html